The law of the land is set in place to give each human being equal rights as a human being.
Dysfunctional Family Law and Family Belief Systems
But some of the things we learn are NOT for our own good. Sometimes we learn to live by a dysfunctional law. To these children, it is somehow communicated that for some reason they do not have equal rights as a human being and that they do not deserve protection.
Sometimes we are taught rules and ways of living in a dysfunctional family system that are not good for us. Sometimes we are taught to accept ways of living that are even illegal but we accept these dysfunctional teachings as truth.
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Some parents assault their children. Some parents sexually violate their children. Some parents neglect their children. ALL of which is illegal Some parents verbally destroy the self esteem of their children. It is really hard to come to terms with the fact that these family laws are dysfunctional and that these family belief systems are not actually healthy when we have lived with them since birth.
We learn to incorporate these mixed messages and we have come to accept that the law of the land is different than the law of the family. Family loyalty is also part of the family law. I learned that there were different rules for different situations. If someone assaulted me outside the home it was assault. If it was inside the home it was their right.
The Good Stuff from Growing Up in a Dysfunctional Family How to Survive and Then Thrive
I was an innocent little sponge absorbing the rules the way they were communicated to me. I just accepted it.
It was the family law. We are not born knowing right from wrong; we are taught right from wrong. If we are taught by our mentors, caregivers and teachers, that something wrong is actually right, then we believe it is right. It matters not if this dysfunction is communicated innocently or not.
The Good Stuff from Growing Up in a Dysfunctional Family by Karen Casey - Book - Read Online
When I actually found the answers to my dilemma, understanding my parents and their past lives did not contribute to my emotional healing. My freedom and recovery has its foundation in understanding that damage and in realizing that I had been raised with some funky ideas about life and how it works. The way that love is taught and expressed in a dysfunctional home, is the wrong definition of love.
Love does not cause harm and distress in children. Love does not OWN someone as a possession. It was when I sorted that stuff out that I was able to embrace the real truth about what was right and wrong and when it came to my value and what I believed about myself, I had a lot of misunderstanding about the truth.
We learned loyalty very young. We learned consequences very young. The law of the land is right and I agree that it is wrong to break those laws. Please share your thoughts with me. Please remember that only a first name or screen name is required in the comment form. The Emerging from Broken book is ready for download! If you find that the subject matter I am writing about resonates with you, get this book today!
This page, downloadable, printable, live linked e-book will put you on the fast track to healing. Click here for more about Family Dysfunction. Click here for more about Mother Daughter Dysfunction. Click here for the Definition of Neglect. I have always felt like family loyalty not telling anyone was a good thing.
I find myself more close to my friends and church family because my church believes that advice requires permission love is not rude. I just assumed before that I had to sit back and listen because concern is the most important thing ever next to loyalty. I am still married to him, but there is no Love on my part at all. I want to leave him, I am so scared. By taking steps to validate ourselves, educate ourselves, heal ourselves and express ourselves, we can stop it being perpetuated to the next generation.
This helped me see how it must have been for him.
I really enjoyed hearing someone else write about my life in such a simple, insightful manner… I swear we must have grown up in the same home! Hi Ruth Thank you! Thanks for your comment! Hugs, Darlene. I missed this post prior. But again Darlene has said what I needed to hear.
- French Soldier in Egypt 1798-1801 - The Army of the Orient.
- Tag: karen casey.
- The Duggars Are an Extremely Dysfunctional Family.
There is a family law in my FOO and I have indeed broken it. The silence since my last blowout with the Rents is deafening. With the holidays approaching I am still to stay no contact with my family, my choice. I was supposed to yet again forgive and forget, but this time I will not.
So I am breaking the code of behavior. I was supposed to let them say disgusting hurtful things to me yet again and then remain silent. This is my job in life! I do think now that I am NC it angers mother because it proves a lock of control over me this time. Why else would this whole thing have caused such a huge war and everyone not contacting me? Even my one sister, who always stays out of things and does everything to please the Nmom, has stayed out of it. Having said that, if this sister chose to contact me I would be very skeptical.see
I would say to her, Why are you contacting me now if you had no interest before? And all that stands in the way of making the decision is our unwillingness to change our minds. These relationships, both fleeting and significant, embody the opportunities we are being offered right here, right now, for lives that will exceed our fondest expectations.
Is it time for a change of mind? Publishers love books, but we also love to read them! Death Poems seems an odd choice for a holiday gift, eh? Not really. Though it offers a vast survey of death poems by poets including the death of children, funeral rites for serial killers, war, elegies for famous people, and more death-ish-ness, it is actually life affirming!
Readers will find Walt Whitman celebrating death as an important part of the richness of life. Lord Byron pens a beautiful epitaph for his beloved dog. Emily Dickinson goes for a carriage ride with Death, and Dylan Thomas pleads with his father to go gentle into that good night.
Julian was a fourteenth century mystic who was an anchoress at the church of St. Julian in Norwich, England. She is called Julian after the church where she served; her real name is lost to us. An anchoress literally lived in a very small addition to the church she served at. Her function was to pray, and the only human contact she had was through a small window to the outside world. What makes Julian remarkable to me are her visions of Christ, set at a very patriarchal time, which fairly sing with love, peace, optimism, compassion, and most of all, of motherhood.
Julian proclaimed the motherhood of God at a time when doing so could result in a quick trip to the nearest stake with a match. This book offers easy ways to make the most of your day and find that second wind.